Double Blue
by amythis
Summary: Two months after the Jamaica trip, the family reacts to a double blue line.
1. Orange Crush

I stare at the double blue line. I wonder if I should reread the instructions, but that's all I could do while I was waiting for the results.

How did this happen? Well, all right, I know how it happened. But how I got to this point, now sitting on my bathroom floor, leaning against the tub, holding this stick, well, that's complicated. Like everything involving Tony.

We were in Jamaica and we'd just agreed to not let this go further. Well, it was what he wanted and I agreed, like I always do. He has more to lose than I do—his job, his home, maybe even his identity. Not that it's not risky for me, even now, more than five years after Michael left. But it would probably not change my life as much. OK, this is life-changing, but this part wasn't supposed to happen.

Tony and I snuggled together on the bench on the beach, back to our warm, close, but not that warm and close friendship. It was nice, cozy. So I gave him a little peck on the cheek.

He smiled and returned it. Then I was going to give him another, but he turned his head and opened his mouth, probably to say something. But my lips landed on his open mouth. And from there, we started French-kissing again.

This time I broke away. "I'm sorry."

"Angela, no, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I kissed you first."  
>"No, I mean I'm sorry I stopped earlier."<p>

I was taken aback. "You are?"

"Yeah, maybe it's crazy to keep fightin' it."

"I thought you wanted to wait till we get married. If we get married."

"We could just—"

"Yes?"

"Blame it on the tropics."  
>"Excuse me?"<br>"Angela, I care about you. I don't want it to be something short and casual like I usually do. But couldn't this be, I dunno, we got carried away by Jamaica?"

I blinked. "You want us to plan to be swept away?"

"It'll just be tonight. And then we'll go back to where we were."  
>"A one-night stand?" I felt disappointed, but also turned on. I wanted Tony, but all of him.<p>

"No, not exactly."  
>"What then?"<br>"Well, a one-night stand is just one time, ever. We could still get together down the road, just like if we didn't have tonight. Unless you don't wanna?"

"I've never had a one-night stand. But as long as I'm cutting loose."

"Yeah, and it wouldn't be as cheap and sleazy because it'd be with me. I mean someone you know, not a stranger."

"There are worse people I could be cheap and sleazy with."

"No, I shouldn't have put it that way. It'll be good. Romantic, passionate."

"It is tempting." What if this was my only chance to be with Tony? Was it worth taking? And he was right, it wouldn't rule out us getting together later, maybe when he was done with college. Maybe when he was no longer my housekeeper.

He whispered in my ear, "What can I do to convince you?"  
>"How are you at foreplay?"<br>He moved his head away and looked taken aback by my directness. "I think I'm pretty good. I don't get complaints anyway. But you'd have to judge for yourself."

"OK, show me."

"I can see why you're a success in the business world."  
>"Well, you made me an offer. Now you have to sweeten the deal."<p>

"Here? Now?"

"Well, no. We're in public, although no one's around at the moment. Show me second base."

"Well, I was a second baseman for the Cards. But I'm a little rusty."

"Do you skip first and go right to third?"

"Yeah, sometimes, but all right."

He didn't immediately steal second, like I was expecting. He went back to first, kissing my mouth and then, smoothly, gradually, but intensely, he transitioned, so it was hard to say where one base ended and another began. His lips moved from my lips to my neck, then to my bare shoulders, his right hand preceding his mouth, caressing me and also signaling that his lips were on their way.

He rolled down my orange sundress on my left side, so that the breast that was exposed was hidden by the back of the bench, although I'm sure anyone who came close enough to us could've guessed what was going on. I felt daring and alive, if a little nervous and self-conscious. I also thought that even if we didn't make love that night, this was further than we'd ever gone before, and I could live on the memory of it for a long time.

Of course, some memories last longer than others. But I'll get to that.

"Mmm, perky," Tony said, tweaking my left nipple.

"Tease," I whispered.

"Angela, you ain't seen teasin' yet."

I almost said, "What do you call the last five years? Starting with when you woke me up your first night in the house, dressed in that tight white T-shirt and your blue pajama bottoms." Instead I said, "It's not nice to tease, Tony."

"No, it isn't nice to tease Tony."  
>Did he think I was a tease? I'd meant it about going to bed with him. I just wished it wasn't for one night and then a long wait.<p>

He caressed my left breast, his hands firm and warm and somehow greedy and impatient at the same time. "I've been waiting a long time for this."

"That's not my fault."

"I know. But I explained why."

"So what changed your mind?"

He shrugged. "I have and I haven't. I'm still weighing things."

"If that's a reference to the size of my bust—"

"Come on, Angela, your breasts are beautiful. Well, this one is anyway."

"It is?"

"You kiddin' me? Look at that hard nipple and the soft white skin around it, except here, where your tan line starts."

He started kissing my tan line. And then below my tan line.

It got to me, oh, how it got to me!

He stopped kissing, and licking, to ask, "You like that, Angela? Is that good enough second base for ya?"

"Mmm hmm," I murmured. "I can't wait to see third base."

"Well, if you can't wait." And then his left hand tugged up the hem of the long dress.

"Here, Tony?"

He moved his hand up and under my skirt. "No, here, Angela," he whispered. "Right about here." His hand found my panties.

I could've stopped him, or at least suggested we go somewhere more private. But it felt too good to stop. And his right hand went back to playing with my breast.

"From the glimpses you gave me, and everybody else, during your hot, hot, hot dance, I think these are orange, too." He eased my underwear down. "Yeah, orange," he said, tossing them onto the sand.

"Tony!"

"I'll pick them up later. They're just going to get in the way now."

And then he teased me. His hands playing above and below, as his mouth kissed my ear and whispered things like, "Mmm, yeah, does that feel good? I bet it's nice in there. Real nice!"

I couldn't say anything even that coherent. I just tried not to make noises that anyone but Tony could hear. I loved what he was giving me but wanted more. And he'd let things build but not release me, till I'd never been so frustrated with him in five years, and that's saying a lot.

"Tony!" I begged.

"Whassamatter, Angela? You don't like the foreplay?"

"Yes, but."  
>"Do you need to come, Angela? You want me to help you come?"<p>

"YES!"

"Mmm, I like the sound of that. But keep it down. This is just for me, OK, Angela?"

"Yes, Tony."

"Come just for me, Baby, there we go!" His hands got faster, the left one deeper. "Yes, Baby, mmm, yeah, you come real good!"

He sounded almost condescending, and I couldn't have that. So since my hands were free, I found the bulge in his gray slacks. It wasn't hard to find.

"ANGELA!"

"See what it's like to be teased, Tony?"

"Believe me, I don't need lessons in that. Oo, that's good! But here?"

"Right here. Or maybe here." I shifted so that I was sitting in his lap.

"Wait, Angela, I don't got no protection." He sounded like I imagine a teenaged Tony would've sounded twenty years ago.

"Let me get my purse," I said, reluctantly getting up, and deliberately flashing him a little. The performance area was now deserted, the talent contest over. I found my purse still at my table and took a quick peek inside. Nothing had been taken. Then I went back to Tony's bench.

"You got protection in your purse? Were you expecting something to happen in Jamaica?"

"No, but Mother was."  
>"Mona?"<p>

"Well, not necessarily with you. But she saw how wild I've been acting, so she bought me a package of condoms. Just in case."

"Such a good mother."

"Yes. I didn't plan to use them, but under the circumstances?"

He nodded. "Yeah, just hurry up before we come to our senses."

I almost made the obvious pun but instead took out the condom box.

"I don't recognize the brand."

"I think it's something local."

"Well, no time to be fussy."

I nodded and unwrapped a condom. Then I rolled it onto Tony, and then rolled my hips so I was sitting on him, my bare legs around the waist of his slacks.

"This is so crazy," he murmured.

"We can be crazy, one night in Jamaica." Then I slid him into me and then out, teasing both of us.

So he started teasing both my breasts with his hands and mouth. I couldn't keep teasing when he did that, so I rode him till I came.

"You like it on top, don't you, Baby?"

I couldn't deny it. "Yes. But other positions are good."

"How about this one?" With one smooth athletic move, he had me lying on the bench and himself on top. And then he teased me with the best tease of all. Slow shallow slow shallow, and then quick deep quick deep, over and over. I kept almost coming.

"Tony!" I scolded and pleaded.

"Angela, if I'm getting only one night with you for awhile, I want it to last as long as it can."

Then I thought I heard footsteps. "Someone's coming!"

"You wish."

"No, I mean footsteps are—Oh, they're fading."

"Focus, Angela."

So I did. I raised my bare knees and pressed my bare feet against that nice firm derriere.

The teasing stopped and we rocked together, locked together, even our eyes. Sometimes Tony and I, before all this happened, would make love with our eyes, promising someday we'd—and now someday was here!

"Angela, this is the best I've ever—I luh—OH GOD!"

His eyes squeezed shut as he came, like he was trying to keep his mouth from spilling too many words. But I watched the changing expression on his face, unable to look away after wanting to see this so long.

I wanted to tell him I loved him. Would I ever have a better opportunity than this? But it wouldn't be fair. He'd feel pressured. And I just wanted him to feel good.

And he did, until he withdrew and looked down.

"What's wrong?" I didn't like that facial expression at all.

"Well, the light's not very good but I think, it felt like, could you tell?"

"What, Tony?" I demanded.

He lay on me, not as post-coital cuddling or as afterplay, but as if he needed comforting and wished he could offer it to me.

"I think the condom broke."

...

Orange is the opposite of blue. I remember that from helping Jonathan with a color wheel in, what was it, third grade? Tony helped, too. I remember him joking about the colors. Tony can find humor in almost anything. Almost.

The rest of that night is blurry. I guess I wanted to block it out. I reassured him, said it was the wrong point in my cycle and after all I'm almost forty (he didn't even tease me about my age), so the chances were it'd be fine.

I remember picking up my panties, shaking out the sand, as Tony sat sadly on the bench looking at the remains of the condom. I felt a strange urge to laugh, but of course I didn't.

Then Tony cheered up a little. "Yeah, it'll be fine. It's just not a great end to our evening."

Yes, the evening was over. How could we continue after that?

"True."  
>"You'll let me know if, if there's a problem later, right?"<p>

I felt a sudden urge to protect him. "Of course."

Even then, it was hypothetical. And things like that, like this, don't happen to me, Angela Bower. Not the 39-year-old president of her own ad agency.

I stumble out of the bathroom, through my bedroom and downstairs. I take the home pregnancy kit stick and box with me. I'll have to find a place to hide them, since the garbage is Tony's responsibility. Maybe I could take them on the train this morning, throw them away somewhere in New York, if I can do it without Mother noticing.

She's the last person I want to know. So of course she's in the living room.

"Angela, you're late!"

"Late?" I ask, hiding the evidence behind my back.

"For our train."

"No, Mother, it's Fall Back, not Fall Forward. I reset my bedroom clock and my watch and it's only 8:30." I wanted to be precise, despite the time change, because I so rarely get time alone in this house. I'd told Tony I'd take the train that's after he gets Jonathan to school.

"Nine-thirty, Dear."  
>"Really? So it would've been 10:30?" I must've set them back two hours and not noticed on Sunday.<p>

"What's wrong with you, Angela? You've been so scattered lately."

"I—I have to go to the bathroom." I rush to the one under the stairs. I leave the box and stick in there for now, then I wash my hands and reluctantly return to Mother.

"What's wrong, morning sickness?" She laughs at her own joke, as she is wont to do.

I scowl.

"Lighten up, Angela. I know that that would take immaculate conception."  
>"Not that immaculate."<p>

She stares at me. "You? Pregnant?"

"Please, Mother, I'm not in the mood to hear jokes about my sex life, or lack thereof."

"Angela, I know you went a little crazy in Jamaica, but just how crazy did you go?"  
>"Crazy enough."<br>"Was it a local or a tourist?"

"A tourist."

"Did you at least get his name?"  
>Before I can decide whether or not to lie, Tony comes in the front door with groceries and says, "You running late, Angela?"<p>

"Actually, Mother and I are going to work from home today."

"We are? Oh, right, we are!"

"We need to discuss that account in my study, Mother."

"Of course, Dear." I expect her to tease me in front of Tony, but for once she behaves.

Tony, however, says, "What, you can't talk about it front of me? You think I'm a company spy?"

"No, I know how devoted you are to the Bower Agency. But the facts and figures are in my study, so it's easier there."

"OK. Let me know if you ladies want coffee or Danish or anything."

"Thank you, Tony."

Mother waits till we're in my study before she says, "So Tony got you in trouble, did he?"

"Mother! You make it sound like I'm sixteen."

"No, Dear, you never did things like this when you were sixteen. You decided to wait till middle age."

"I didn't decide."

"So it was an accident?"  
>I nod, humiliated.<p>

"Dummy! What do you think the condoms were for?"

"We used one. It broke."

"Well, the same thing happened to me. Of course I was almost married at the time."

"I was an accident?"  
>"Let's say you were an unexpected guest."<p>

"Well, that's what I've got, an unexpected guest."  
>"And unwanted?"<br>I sigh. That's what's so hard to face. But it looks like I have to, because Mother won't let me avoid facing it. "It's not that I wouldn't like a baby with Tony, someday. But we're not ready."

She laughs.

"Mother."

"Angela, you're 39, Tony's 37, and your whatever the hell you call this relationship is five years old."

"I know. But he's still finding himself, searching for meaning in his life."

"Well, a baby might provide some meaning."

"No! I don't want him to feel trapped."  
>"Dummy," she says, but under her breath this time.<p>

"Tony and I agreed that he had to sort out his life before we get together."

"It seems to me that this is pretty together."

"It was just supposed to be one night of pleasure, and then we'd go back to the way we were. And we did, until this happened."  
>"Bull."<br>"Excuse me?"  
>"Sorry. Bullshit. Is that clear enough?"<p>

"No, I'm afraid not."  
>"Then let me spell it out for you. I knew something happened between you two in Jamaica. Not this of course, but maybe stolen kisses in the moonlight. Something more than before. Because you two have been different together."<p>

"We have?"

"Yes, and if I didn't have this blindness, not entirely unjustified of course, about your sex life, I would've realized that you'd slept with Tony. Not that it didn't occur to me, but if nothing happened in Connecticut, why would it happen in Jamaica? In fact, I thought you might've slept with a stranger there, and that was what causing this weirdness between you and Tony."

"Oh. And you didn't interrogate me?"  
>"I wanted to, but I knew I'd find out eventually. Who else have you got to confide in? Obviously not Tony."<p>

"I'd like to. But I don't want him to feel, well."  
>"Pressured?"<p>

"Yes."

"Well, I think he's going to suspect something after a few months."

"Not if I get rid of it," I say quietly.

"Is that what you want?"

I burst into tears. "No, I want this baby! But I don't see how this is going to work."

"It won't work if you don't talk to him."

She's right. But I can't face him. Not yet. Then he knocks on the door.

"Angela, I know you're in the middle of something, but can I talk to you?"


	2. Brown Study

I stare at the double blue line. It's been a long time since I've seen one of these, but I remember it well. Except last time, Marie and I were so happy. And now?

Why didn't she tell me? I thought we had a good relationship. OK, it wouldn't be the easiest subject to bring up, but I'm not a bad guy. I think I could say the right things, once I got over the shock.

I need to talk to Angela, now. Good thing she's working from home today. We just have to get rid of Mona. I do not want her part of this conversation, although she'll probably have to be told later on.

I go to Angela's study. It's her private space and I usually only go in there when it's empty and I'm cleaning. But this can't wait. I hesitate and then knock.

"Angela, I know you're in the middle of something, but can I talk to you?"

"Yes, Tony. Just give me a moment."  
>I wait and then Mona opens the door. "I'll go make coffee," she says.<p>

"Uh, thanks, Mone."

"Come in please, Tony," Angela says. "And close the door."

I feel like I'm being interviewed for a job, or called to the principal's office. In other rooms, we're more like equals. But in her study, I'm well aware of her success and authority.

She sits on the edge of her desk and I pull over a chair. I try not to think of the fantasy that starts out like this, with her in a short little business skirt, sexy but classy, with those long legs tantalizing me.

She's in her blue robe. Maybe she got the time change mixed up and that's why she hasn't gotten dressed yet. I think about joking about casual Monday, but I don't.

I've almost forgotten why I came in here, but then she asks, "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I, uh, I found something in the bathroom under the stairs."

She blushes. Does she know? Did Sam tell her? I'm hurt that Sam didn't confide in me, but I can see why. Angela's like a mother to her, but without the power to punish her. And as a woman, she would understand. But how could Angela not tell me? Even if Sam swore her to secrecy, doesn't Angela owe it to me to not keep secrets?

I almost back off. Maybe I should just talk to Sam when she gets home from school. Angela may already be more involved in this than she's comfortable with. But I can't help it. I say, "It was a home pregnancy kit."

"Oh," she says. That's all. She's not giving anything away. I can't really blame her. But I can't let this go either.

"Yeah. And the stick had a double blue line."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel burdened."

"Burdened? Why would I feel burdened by being a grandfather before I'm 40?"

"Grandfather?"

"Come on, Angela. I know it was Sam's. I mean, Mona may be youthful but she is pushin' 60. And you told me you got your period after we got back, so unless you've been seeing someone I don't know about—"

I stare at her, more shocked than if it was Sam that was pregnant. This might actually be worse. "You been cheatin' on me?"

"Cheating?"

"OK, yeah, we're not a couple yet. But I thought after Jamaica, I don't know. I thought you'd wait. Not start dating around again. I thought we had an understanding. I'd never do this to you!"

"Tony, wait. I lied but I didn't cheat."

"Lied about what?"

"About my period. You seemed so worried, and well, my period isn't as regular now that I'm older, so I didn't want both of us waiting. I figured I'd get it eventually, so in the meantime you at least could have peace of mind."

"But you didn't, did you? Get it eventually."  
>She shakes her head.<p>

I feel an incredible mixture of emotions, ones that are tangled up and hard to separate. There's anger and shock and disbelief, but also surprise and joy and love.

I leap to my feet and grab her in a tight hug. "Angela, you're having my baby!"

"Tony, if you start singing Paul Anka, I will strangle you."

I resist, but I hug her even tighter. "OK, we didn't plan for this, but we can make it work."  
>"How, Tony? You're still in college."<br>"Yeah, but it's not like I'm 20."  
>"What about your search for meaning?"<p>

"A baby's pretty meaningful, Angela."  
>"That's what Mother said."<p>

"Hey, Mona's gonna be a grandmother again! I bet she's exci—" I let go. "You told Mona before me?"

"I didn't want to but she guessed, in a joke of course."

"Of course. So when were you gonna tell me?"

"I just found out this morning."

I shake my head. "No, you didn't find out this morning. You must've suspected something, or you wouldn't have bought the kit. Why didn't you tell me what you were going through? Jesus, Angela, even if it wasn't mine, don't you think I'd want to know? If nothing else, to comfort you?"

She starts crying. I hate that. Especially when I'm mad at her.

"I didn't want you to feel trapped!"

"Trapped? You're not the one who broke the condom!"

"What, are you saying you broke it?"

"Well, somebody did."  
>"I guess we broke it together." She smiles a little through her tears.<p>

"Yeah, together. We're together in this."

"Right. We can have morning sickness together. And get fat together. And pass a watermelon through—"

"OK, some of it you've got to do yourself. But I can help. Angela, I'm good at this. I'd rub Marie's feet and cook her anything she craved and—"

"She was your wife, Tony. I'm not even your girlfriend."  
>"Well, you could be."<p>

"Your wife? Or your girlfriend?"  
>"Either, both, I don't care. Hey, Angela, will you go out with me?"<br>She laughs. If I can make her laugh, it's all right, or will be. Then she sighs and shakes her head. "No, I don't want us to get together just because of this."

"So what do you wanna do, Angela? Raise the kid on your own? Or am I the kid's nanny? Or—" I stop in shock. "Or maybe you don't want the kid at all," I add quietly.

She takes my hand. "Tony, I want this baby. But I don't want it defining what we are to each other."

"So you want me to just go on with my life like you're not having my baby? And it's such a lovely way of sayin' what you're thinkin' of me."

She squeezes my hand a little too hard. "Tony, I warned you."

"Sorry, I'm just a little giddy. Please, Angela, it'll be fun having a kid together. And you've always said you think I'm a good father."

"You are. To both Sam and Jonathan. Oh God!" She lets go of my hand.

"What?"

"What are we going to tell the kids?"

"Maybe they won't notice."

"Yes, why should they notice the fat and the vomiting?"

"Come on, Angela. You're gonna be beautiful, just like Marie was. Already, your face is glowin'. I can see in your eyes I'm happy you know it."

She shakes her head at my Anka-ing but she laughs. Then she sighs. "You're really happy, aren't you?"

"Well, of course."  
>"But I seduced you and then lied to you!"<p>

"Ay-oh, oh-ay, that seduction was mutual."  
>"And the lying?"<p>

"I'm not thrilled about that, but I can see why you did it. You always have to be strong and independent, even at a time like this. And you did tell me in the first trimester, so that counts for something."

She nods. "And I did it to protect you. I don't want you to drop out, or make any decisions you'll regret."

"Angela, I'm not dropping out. The kid isn't due till, what, May?"

"I think so."

"So I can finish up this year and then take it slow while the baby is a baby. Unless you were planning to stay home with Tony, Jr."

"Tony, Jr.?"  
>"Or Angela, Jr. Either's fine."<p>

She laughs. "I hadn't thought that far ahead. To names or child-care arrangements."

"We've got seven months, Angela, Sr. Plenty of time to figure it all out, including us."

"Are you sure you want to be that settled, Tony, Sr.? Maybe you shouldn't be tied down yet."

"What, you want me to go out and have a fling before I know if I'm ready to commit to you and our kid?"  
>"No, of course not. That would shatter me."<p>

I kiss her hand. "It would shatter me, too. Even if you weren't pregnant."

"But don't you see, if I weren't pregnant, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Life would just go on the way it was."

I shake my head. "You think I just blocked out that night on the beach? One of the most special nights of my life?"

"It was?"

"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't how I used to imagine our first time, but it was still our first time." I wish it'd been more romantic, like I promised her, but we were still in our teasing, competitive mood of that weekend. And I didn't expect it to go so far on the beach.

She nods. "It was special to me, too."

"Then why didn't we talk about it when we got back?"

"I told you, I didn't want you to feel trapped. Even if I weren't pregnant, you might've felt that our one-night stand would have to lead to an ongoing relationship, and you'd made it clear that you weren't ready for that."

"Well, that's what I thought at first. But I've had time to think about this, and I kept wishing that we hadn't agreed it would just be that one night. And not just for the sex, if that's what you're thinkin'."

"I know," she says quietly.

"Look, Angela, I am an old-fashioned guy in some ways. I know you're a modern woman, and I respect that. But I am gonna feel funny if we have a kid and don't get married. I'll go along with it if it's what you want, but it's not what I want."

"Is that a proposal?"

"Sort of?"

"Tony, we're not college kids, even you. We don't 'have to get married.' "

"I told you, I've thought about marrying you before."

"Yes, maybe down the road, when you've finished college."

"Angela, look, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Was Jonathan planned?"

"Of course!"

"Well, Sam wasn't. But that worked out, and I've never regretted that 'accident.' "

"Unexpected guest is what Mother said I was."

"Yeah? I like that."

"Well, I don't think Mother did."  
>"Hey, come on, Mona loves you."<br>"I know, although she has funny ways of showing it sometimes. But I also know that she never got much chance to see what it was like to be an adult before she was a mother."

"Well, you got that. And think how good we'll be this time around, especially as a team."

"We're already that. Without being married."

"Angela, we're going around in circles on this. OK, we don't have to get married right away. Just maybe before the baby's born?"

"Tony, I can't make any promises."

"Not even to go out with me?"  
>"Well, where are you taking me?"<br>"How about to the kitchen for some of Mona's coffee?"

"I don't know about that."

"No, it's fine. A little coffee's good for you when you're pregnant."

"Really?"

"Yeah, a little coffee and lots of pasta."

"Mm, I guess that's an advantage to getting knocked up by an Italian. Lots of pasta."

"Yeah, one of the advantages. If you take off your slippers, I'll show you another one."

I give her a nice foot massage. Her ankles aren't swollen yet, but it's early. She's put on a bit of weight, although nothing you'd notice unless you saw her naked. Yeah, a little curvier than on the beach a couple months ago. I keep rubbing, up and up, and eventually not just with my hands.

Well, as she points out in the middle of it, this time we don't need to worry about a "rubber."


	3. Black Coffee

I stare at the double blue line. Even knowing what I know, it's hard to get over the shock. Angela pregnant! By Tony! It's like my biggest dream and my biggest nightmare in one.

I'm thrilled that they had sex in Jamaica, but I'm not too happy about the results. Not that I'd mind another grandkid, maybe a girl this time, since I didn't get to spoil Samantha till she was twelve. It's just, I was hoping they'd have some time together as a couple and then maybe get married. Have a kid or two if they didn't take another five years to get their act together. I didn't guess that Tony's Italian sperm would outsmart a Jamaican condom on the first try.

Yeah, it's my fault, sort of. Maybe I should've bought another brand, or had a little chat with Angela about back-up methods. But who knew she'd actually try to have a one-night stand?

The thing is, I've always believed in Fate, especially when it comes to those two. For over twenty-five years, something has been drawing them together, very slowly but undeniably. Maybe the broken condom is what they needed to finally become a couple, because obviously sex wasn't enough in itself. Not that I would recommend unplanned pregnancy to most couples (not with what I went through, spit-up on my shoulder before I was 20), but in their case?

And even now, Angela is dragging her heels. If there's a shotgun wedding, it won't be the groom who needs persuasion. If I know Tony, and I do, he's probably going to be thrilled. Surprised but thrilled. Tony loves kids, he loves Angela (even if he won't say it when he's conscious), and he's all about _la famiglia._ So a _bambino_ is just what he needs to cure his little mid-life crisis. If only Angela would let herself be happy, not be such a martyr!

I look at the stick again and then I realize something. These home pregnancy kits are a little after my time (my last scare was about 20 years ago), but I remember younger friends telling me that, while they're pretty accurate, they're not 100%. What if this is a false positive?

I consider not saying anything, but I suppose I should try to ease Angela's mind a little. And since I'm still on good terms with the last gynecologist I dated, I may be able to get Angela an appointment for today. If she is pregnant, then we'll know. And if not, well, we'll know that, too. And Fate will take it from there.

First though, I'm going to put this stick right back where I found it. And wash my hands thoroughly! Then I will make some coffee, because I promised. Should I call Dr. Maguire before I talk to Angela? No, we'll all discuss this over coffee and then I'll proceed from there….

…The coffee is ready but Tony and Angela are taking their sweet time about coming into the kitchen. I hope they didn't have a fight! Maybe I'd better check on them.

But before I knock, I eavesdrop, so I'll know what I'm walking in on. Holy shit! That is not something I should be walking in on!

Wait a minute. Does she have contraception in her office? I doubt it, not my Angela. And it's unlikely that she or Tony had any, ahem, on them. And they probably think she can't get pregnant because they think she is already. Which she might be.

And if she's not? Well, maybe I need to nudge Fate again. I'll just wait quietly in the kitchen, and reheat their coffee if necessary.


	4. Tickled Pink

I stare at the double blue line. I don't believe this! Angela, pregnant?

What else could it mean? I remember when Julia had her scare a few months ago, and Bonnie and I were so relieved for her that it was a single blue line. (We read the directions carefully because, well, Julia is sweet but not too bright.)

Double blue means pregnant. Angela is pregnant. Angela is pregnant. Angela is pregnant. This woman who is the closest I have to a mother figure is going to be a mother again. I know, some role model. But I guess even Angela is human.

Usually, she's pretty conservative, but she has her moments of cutting loose, like in Jamaica. Is that where this happened? Poor Dad! I know, I should feel bad for Angela, but it's her own fault for having some tropical fling, while poor Dad was miserable and alone.

And he—well, he's never told me, he probably hasn't even told her, but I can tell, he loves her. What's he gonna do when he finds out?

I know, they weren't committed, they weren't even dating. But I always thought that maybe someday, well, they'd get together, maybe even get married. But how can they get together now that this has happened? She's gonna have some stranger's baby!

Unless Dad decides to be extra noble and not only forgive her but maybe marry her. Yeah, Angela's probably not even in touch with the real father. Dad would say he's doing it because the kid needs a dad, and that would be true, but it would also be his way of marrying her without taking the risk of telling her how he feels.

Would she go along with it? I've thought sometimes that she loved him, but I don't know anymore. I'm still a virgin, so I don't really understand how you can love someone but not tell them, and meanwhile have sex with other people. Yeah, OK, I kissed Mason when I thought I loved Jesse, but that's just kissing. And I was 15. Angela's almost 40, she should know better!

OK, maybe I'm judging her too harshly. Maybe it's Dad's fault, sort of. Maybe she wanted to pursue things with him and he backed off, and she gave up on him. Or maybe—

"Sam, can you help me with Algebra?" Jonathan calls from the living room.

I don't need this right now. I wish Dad was home to help Jonathan. I don't know where he is.

Oh no! What if Dad saw the stick? Maybe he's upset. Maybe he's gone into the City to confront Angela at work! Or to propose to her.

"Please?"

"Just a minute." What should I do? I wish I had someone talk to. Mona would be best, she's so wise, especially about stuff like this. Well, not about her uptight middle-aged daughter being pregnant, but about romance and stuff.

What should I do with the stick? What if Dad hasn't seen it yet? I can't let him find out that way! I'll have to somehow throw it out without him knowing. Maybe I'll take out the garbage, unless that would make him suspicious.

"Sam?"

I come out of the bathroom with the stick behind my back. I carefully enter the living room and try to get to the kitchen without Jonathan seeing the stick.

"What's wrong with you?"

And then it hits me. I do have someone I can talk to about this. OK, Jonathan is only 13 and hasn't done more than kiss a girl or two. But he's not a little kid anymore. And maybe this isn't the best way for him to find out his mom is pregnant, but he's probably the person who can best understand what I'm going through. He wanted our folks to get together just as much as I did.

"This!" I say dramatically, flourishing the stick.

"Huh?"

Oh, right. He wouldn't know what this is. "Jonathan, this is a stick that predicts pregnancy!"

"Yeah, right. OK, if A squared equals 3C minus 12—"

"No, really."

The scientific side of Jonathan's warped mind takes over. "How's it work?"

"Well, you pee on it."  
>"Why would I pee on it?"<p>

"No, a woman pees on it."  
>"Ew, gross!"<p>

This is not going to be easy. "Jonathan, this stick came out positive!" And just in case that's not clear enough, I add, "That means pregnant."

He stares at me. "Sam!"

"I know, I know," I say, shaking my head.

"Your dad's gonna kill you! And the guy! Who's the guy?"  
>"I don't know who the guy is. But I'm not the one he's gonna kill."<p>

"Huh?"

"Think, Jonathan. Who else in this house might've taken a pregnancy test?"

"Not—Oh God, Grandma's pregnant!"

"Jonathan, she's a little old for that."

"Well, I don't know, she doesn't act like it."

"Jonathan, there's another woman who lives here."

He looks more shocked than ever. "Mom is pregnant?" he whispers.

"Yeah, according to this stick."

"Let me see." I hand it over to him, although I don't know what information he thinks he's going to discover by handling it. "Wow, cool!"

"Cool?"

"Well, it's still gross, but it's also cool. Hey, look at this double blue line!"

"Yeah, that's how you know."

"Then that means—Mom's pregnant with twin boys!"

I shake my head. "No, Jonathan, that's just the normal pregnancy sign."

"How do you know about all this?"  
>"Uh, I learned it in Health class."<p>

He glances at me suspiciously, but his mom's pregnancy is understandably at the front of his twisted brain. "Mom's gonna have a baby," he murmurs.

"It looks like it."

"Wow, Tony's gonna be so happy!"

"Happy?" Angela may be his best friend, but I don't think happiness will be one of his emotions about this.

"Yeah, he's always wanted another kid. You can tell."

I'm about to say that that's probably true, but Dad's not the one who's having another kid. And then it hits me. I've been assuming that Angela had some Jamaican fling with a strange guy. But what if that strange guy is Dad?

"They must've got together in Jamaica. Wow, I wonder why they didn't tell us they're dating?"

I almost say that we don't know that they're "dating," but I don't know how to put it without calling his mom a slut. OK, yeah, I nearly did earlier, but that was before, when I thought she'd been with someone else. If it was Dad, well, that's different, although still an adjustment.

"Maybe they wanted to wait till it was serious."

"This is pretty serious, Sam!"  
>"True."<p>

"Hey, I just realized, we're gonna have a half-brother or sister in common."

I hadn't even thought about that part, the actual baby part. "Yeah," I say quietly. What would that be like, a baby in the house?

"And you can do the babysitting since you're older and you're a girl."

"Thanks, Jonathan. But you'll be stuck with it when I go off to college."

"As long as I don't have to change diapers. Gross!"

I think about how he's holding the stick, which I don't know how many people have touched since Angela peed on it, but I decide not to mention it.

"Sam?"  
>"Yeah?"<p>

"This isn't how I used to picture it, but I'm really happy that Mom and Tony finally got together."

"Yeah, me, too." I mean it.

"And a baby might be fun."  
>"Maybe."<p>

"It's just, well."  
>"What?"<br>"I don't want to sound like a little kid, but I liked that Tony was like my dad and Mom was like your mom. But this new kid will belong to both of them."

I almost say, "She's not my mom. But she's the next best thing." Instead, I say, "Yeah. But you'll always be my favorite annoying kid brother."  
>"Thanks, Sam. And you'll be a good mean older sister."<p>

Before it can get too mushy, we're interrupted by the sound of Angela's Jag coming home.


	5. White Christmas

I stare at the double blue line. I still don't completely understand what this means, but I don't think Sam does either, even if she is 17 and a girl.

Sam sits next to me on the couch. It's like we're on the same side in this, whatever Mom says when she comes in. Should I hide the stick and wait to see if she says anything? Or should I confront her with it?

Before I can decide, the door opens. Mom doesn't notice us at first, but she's looking down. So's Tony when he comes in a moment later. And Grandma's looking at them when she follows.

"Well, now everything can go back to normal," Mom says.

"Yeah," Tony says, but he doesn't look too happy.

Grandma shakes her head, in that way she has when she thinks they're being stupid, especially about each other. "Is that what you want, Angela?"

"Mother, Tony is still in school. The timing was wrong."  
>"And when is it going to be right?"<p>

"Lay off, Mona. We made a mistake and we're just lucky there are no consequences."

"No consequences?"

"Wait, is Angela not pregnant?" Sam bursts out, although we've been listening silently till then.

The adults stare at us.

"How did you find out?" Mom whispers.

I hold up the pregnancy stick.

"I knew I should've thrown that away!" Mom says.

"It certainly would've made for a quieter day off work," Grandma says.

"Dad?" Sam says. "Why did Angela test positive?"

"Well, Honey," Tony begins, sounding embarrassed, "it's what they call a false positive. They recommend a woman see a doctor to be sure, which is what Angela just did."

"But you two had sex, right?" I can't help asking.

"Yes, Sweetheart, we did." Mom is blushing.

"And let this be a lesson to you two," Tony says, shifting into "lecturing dad" mode. "Never have unprotected sex!"

Sam and I look at each other and say simultaneously, "Ew, gross!"

"I didn't mean with each other. With anybody. And even condoms aren't foolproof."

"And these two are the fools to prove it."  
>"Mother."<p>

"Just don't have sex outside of marriage."

"Yeah, thanks, Dad. I appreciate you leading by example."

"OK, Angela and I got carried away. But you see why you shouldn't let your hormones take over. And if they do, well, use some form of protection every single—"

"Um, Tony—"

"Not now, Angela. Even if you think it's a safe time of the month, don't assume—" He breaks off and looks at Mom in shock.

"Well, you know what they say about assuming," Grandma says.

"Omigod!" Sam cries. "Did you two do it again, without protection?"

Instead of answering her, Tony keeps looking at Mom. And he now says, "So, you know, July is much better for me than May. I'll be done with finals and we'll have time to work out a schedule so I can stay home with the baby in the fall. I could maybe do night classes."

Mom doesn't say anything at first and then she softly asks, "What do you say to a Christmas wedding?"

Tony is too stunned to say anything, but Grandma shouts, "I say give me your charge cards, I'm going to Bloomingdale's for my matron of honor dress!"

Sam runs over to Grandma. "Oo, Mona, will you help me pick out a maid of honor dress?"

"Of course. If we leave it up to Angela, she'll choose something ghastly, like pastel with frills."

"Then I guess this means I'm gonna need a tux." Tony is smiling at Mom.

"Yes, and I'll need a wedding dress." Mom smiles back.  
>"You'll make a beautiful bride."<p>

"Thank you. You'll make a handsome groom."

They've got eyes only for each other, like they've kind of forgotten the rest of us are here.

"And you, Jonathan?" Grandma says. "You'll need a tux, too. Do you want to be best man or give your mom away?"

I want to say, "Wait a minute. I don't know exactly how all this works, but why are you all assuming that Tony got Mom pregnant this time?" I think they had unprotected sex when they thought she was pregnant, but that doesn't automatically mean that there will be a real positive on the next test. Why are they all jumping to conclusions and planning a wedding? It's not like Tony "has to marry" Mom.

Then Grandma asks, "Well, Jonathan? What's your choice?"

And I realize that in a way Tony does have to marry Mom. It's what everyone, including me, wants, but we think they need an excuse.

I stand up. "Can I do both? Can I support Tony and give Mom to him?"

"I'd like that, a lot," Tony says, and he's both my best buddy and more of a dad than my "real dad" will ever be.

Mom bursts into tears, happy tears.

"Pregnancy hormones," Grandma says and winks at me. We have a secret now, because we both realize that Mom might not be pregnant.

But I have the feeling she might be by the time Tony finishes college. And as I look around at everyone in the group hug that we all drift into, I think that we don't need a baby to make us more of a family. But if one comes along, we'll make room for it.

"I really wish you kids had washed your hands after touching that stick."

"Mother!"

THE END


End file.
